saya

You have brain in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

i wishhhh

OMG!!!..what had happened to me?i think i have transformed myself to a new me==>Aina with excessively high shopping hormone..haha..(opss sejak bile ade shopping hormone ni?)..haha...i keep on browsing for a new thing..and currently my obsessions are:-
1. handbag ( fendi tu yg xoriginal..hehe..i want to buy that one but dh ade org beli n plus susah nak suruh die poskan kat ireland..kalau beli tersadai kat malaysia bwat ape?huhu..yang gucci tu yg original..haha..tapi xkan mampu beli la kan..hehe..)


2. hair straightener ( i have one already but its not as good as aju's..i tried aju's yesterday and i really like it..owg gambar ini saya amik frm amazon.co.uk..hehe..due ni ngah offer and review die mantap..hehe.satu remington n satu babyliss(saye rase babyliss lagi mantap cuz die 230degrees tapi remington ni lak bleh straighten even rambut ngah basah...owh sape2 yg rs nak kutuk saye sila jangan berbuat demikian)

3. Necklace..(cantikkan?hehe..saye suke both of them tapi xpe sabar2..lagipon itu bukan a need..hehe..a need skang adalah tampal gigi cuz ade banyak holes pegi pagi tadi..satu gigi 23euro...8 lubang??matiii..hahaha)

4. Earrings ( yg ni murah...mule2 almost nak beli dah but campo postage jadi mahal la kan?hahha)


5. Coats ( saye nak tunggu winter sale aka boxing day..mane tau dapat murah ke kan?tapi cun gile kan?hahha)

a hole inside my heart..haha

A hole inside my heart...ngeh2..ventricular septal defect..hehe..tengok2...oxygenated blood and deoxygenated blood dah termixed up dah..isk2..

owh ini pula adalah gambar broken heart..nampak x on the right hand side ade macam lubang? itu adalah cavitated lesion inside my heart...owh bukan disebabkan tuberculosis..tapi disebabkan sumting indescribable...its a gradual process..die mule2 kecik je n bleeding but lame2 die cam jadi lubang pastu die pon slowly necrotizes n skang jadi la camtu....and on the left hand sie dah siap bleh nampak cahaya..sebenarnye die adalah right descending coronary artery tapi die cacat sket..die cam nak tiru left descending coronary artery la..hahaha..pastu kat situ sebab cam die tension sangat, cam vessel tu pon burst and maka jadi la lubang seperti itu..xpe2..makan cokelat n mende yg banyak fat banyak2 so mende tu leh jadi atherosclerosis kat situ lantas menutup vessel yang berlubang itu.ok sekian terima kasih sesi mengarut hari ini.

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives"

im sick!

Hmm..i cant handle stress very well..i cant cope up with stress..im bad in stress management…and I don’t like stress…aju told me the same exact thing ths afternoon..and a friend of mine pon cakap die x berani nak tegur me if I ngah stress so tolong la jangan kasi saye stress..ngeh2…n usually if I am in stress situation I have lots of disturbed thoughts…thoughts of doing something bad and awful…saya tau saya sangat teruk but it doesn’t mean I have personality disorder..ngeh2..the main features of any personality disorder is persistence..hehhe..saye xde la camtu je..cume lately je cuz maybe banyak sangat problem…lepas satu, satu n im not a great person in handling things…lagipon dulu I have my better half listens to each and every details of my problems..skang ni I still have him around but he doesn’t really have time for me…yelah die pon final yr and plus ade hsemates yg best and plus my lectures will only b finished at 6pm everyday and usually 7pm adalah waktu my better half tido..n die bangun balik kul 12am n confirm la I dah tdo kan? eventho I have insomnia, i still go to my bed b4 12am..pastu dok staring kat firealarm kat dalam bilik sebab mende tu je yg menimbulkan my curiosity..ngeh2..saya biasa la..i felt insecure..kadang2 saye jadi takut ngan mende itu..saye takut jadi macam a few students kat Malaysia yg ade kamera dalam toilet umah diorg..xcaye?sila tengok utusan..tahun ni rasenye that thing happened..tuan umah yang taruk kamera tu Chinese…papepon mmg saya imagination tinggi sket..huhu…adeh2...lalala…anyway ni link die kalau korang nak tengok n xcaye on what ive said…:- Utusan ….and plus, ade movie sal orang tu kenal minah ni thru the kamera video..skang ni dunia sudah tidak selamat..huhu..so papepon be careful k?

Papepon he doesn’t really have time for me now…weekend die bz ngan hsemates and his friends..so xde la banyak masa macam dulu…xde masa nak gayut2 tepon cam monyet dh skang ni.hahaha…nak cakap sumting pon kene email..huhu..okies..nak try paksa diri tdo cuz esok ade appointment gg and bukannye mudah nak bwat appointment ni,..almost 4 weeks gak la..

Subhanallah....

A friend of mine gave me this picture...magnificient and captivating kan?cantik sangat..i wish im a pilot wanna be as well..hahaha..xnak jadi doktor la..hehe..doctor xdapat tgk beautiful blue sky and scenery yang lawa2..doktor tengok absess, pus, blood n vomitus. ala tapi pilot xleh tengok and feel the miracles..=)..especially the miracles of the baby...=)...ala pilot pon diorg cuak gak diorg cite..diorg cuak kalau ngah hujan lebat sume cuz dieorg xnampak sangat luar n just depending on the machine and machine tu computer kan n computer pon boleh bwat silap gak kan?if doctor cuak wat surgery n deal with people's life, pilot pon cuak gak flying the aircraft waktu hujan+storm..hehe..so we r equal rite?hehhe...tdo pon kalau long distance flight cam london-kl pilot xle tdo nyenyak gak cam dr yang ngan on call..lalala..ok sekian terima kasih.

ponteng lectures

Lalalal..i didn’t go to the lectures today…sangat malas n ngantok ok!even masa case conference pagi tadi I fall asleep…hahah..n i felt like dr cockery was looking at me on that time..haha..kantoi..dh la tmrw im not going to the clinic cuz I have an appointment with a dentist..haha..kantoi la kan..dh la last Monday I didn’t go to clinic as well..tapi tadi dh try dh goda milah so that she wont b going to the GF as well tmrw..hehe..so xde la nampak sangat..hahahaha…keji2..hehe..anyway I called my parents this afternoon and my parents ngah makan kat waheda’s restaurant ngan sume staff…it’s a normal routine for my parents to makan together2 with the staff and belanje diorg makan after penat seharian keje..yelah keje 10pagi till 10 malam..sape tak pengsan kan?dah la xde holiday pon..ade la holiday tapi once a month..mmg penat la..tapi honestly I feel like im attached to them..i mean to the staff..i treat them all like my family..my close family…diorg sume best2…(except a few yg dh resigned and siap stealing barang2 kan..tu mmg keji la tapi rasenye so far 2 org je kot identified as a stealer..hehe..)..anyways called them and ijah said she want to say sumting to me..so tadi I chatted with her and she said that she was currently stressed out..sebabnye she has to accompany my grandma to Jakarta with kerabat johor and she doesn’t like to…yelah nanti kene control sume makan, cakap n everything…leceh..dah la kene bawakkan beg mekap my grandma kan..haha..sian2..bersabar la ijah…tapi xpe..dah jadi cucu kesayangan skarang ni ye?hehehe..mek jojah ore nok g jugok!!hahahhaha..pastu tadi during psychiatry kiteorg bwat draw and the main prize for that draw is to present the chronic diseases management in GP class next week..hahahah..and the prize goes to EMMA…hahaha…:P..kesian gile..kiteorg punye group xde sorang pon nak volunteer..hehhe..cliodhna, tess and Rebecca asked me to present that GP thing but I don’t want…I think it is ok to present it but I don’t like the fact that I have to answer all the questions after the presentation..nak2 questions from Canadian or American yg bombastic tu…NO, THANKS..hahaha…

Hmm anyway I have 2 bad news…al-fatihah kat mohammad afnan saifuddin, anak dr fiza and dr puden yang baru meninggal semalam sejurus selepas dilahirkan (stillbirth)…and kat nenek yusairi…al-fatihah..semoga roh mereka ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yang dirahmati Allah swt…

xtau tajuk ape

I slept at 4am last night!!!gile ape..huhu..so of course la kan bangun lambat pagi tadi n of course la terkejar2 pegi hospital..gile penat..sampai hospital tercungap2 la kan…naseb baek xde anjing sial menghalang my journey to hospital ari ni…papepon sampai hospital Dr Cockery wasn’t there yet and we had to wait for 20minutes before she showed up…die lambat..in fact GF(psychiatric ward in CUH) seems quiter than usual..I didn’t see doctors I used to see and I didn’t see nurses as well..owh sebut pasal nurse, last week when I first started my rotation in GF I went to see the nurse to ask for the patient to take the history..I was with Milah on that time and as usual we both were quite confuse on who should we approach and where should we go. Then we saw a board which had the names of primary nurses for the week. It was written “male nurse” and “female nurse”. We found the nurses’ name who were under Dr Cockery…We asked for the female nurse but she was busy assisting a patient to take a shower so we looked for the male nurse. We found him and I asked him,

“ Hi J. R u the nurse under Dr.Cockery? We r 4^th yr medical student and we r new here. We r looking for a patient named JG to take her history”

And he was like, terdiam kejap and then I can see from his face that his kinda shocked..haha..maybe because we used the word “nurse”..but it was written on the board “primary male nurse”.,,so what else should we call him?hahaha…and then he said:-

“Ok, ill bring JG to u in a moment”..

ok pastu die blah n pegi kat ward(we are not encouraged to linger in the ward cuz they afraid sumting will happen..plus we cannot clerk the patient beside their bed…its inappropriate in psychiatry...maybe due to the confidentiality or pape laa…usually we’ll ask the staff to bring the patient to us and we have to clerk them in the interview room. Papepon kat sini, what should we call the male nurses actually?haahaha..:P…

Owh anyway i called en kamis already asking about the allowance and everything..this mara thing has been boggling me for quite some time..i don’t want to hear from anyone else anymore..papeon the answers that en kamis gave me wasn’t really satisfying..tapi xpe la..i don’t want this stupid thing to bother me anymore..i will just try it once and let it be..malas dh nak fakir…bosan..i wish I knw someone..someone who is a politician and who has a good influence in MARA…mende ni kalau setakat involve pegawai2 camtu mmg xde effect pape la..haiyoyo…bosan la..malaysia sangat la birokrasi..ireland pon birokrasi..hayayayaya…patut mengamalkan dasar communism..hahah..gile bintang tiga kan?hehehe..gune ajaran karl max..pastu baru la hancur kan..alalal..tapi ok la semua manusia pon same..tapi sebenarnye in reality xkan ade manusia yg sama..mesti ade yg kaya n mesti ade yg miskin..mesti ade yg jadi leader n mesti ade yg jadi pak turut…macam yesterday I learnt sumting about gini coefficient during epidemiology(sebenarnye xde la belaja sangat..i was busy playing my fav game in my ipaq)…but I heard what he said..gini coefficient is a measure of inequality of wealth distribution..if gini coefficient is 0, it means that wealth is equally distributed across the country and if the coefficient is 1 its mean that there is only one person yg kaya raya n yg len miskin..camtu la lebih kurang…correct me if Im wrong…anyway rsnye kat msia mesti tinggi sket kan coefficient die?mesti 50% kan kalau ikut percentage sebab kat msia bleh nampak actually ade jurang between org kaya n org miskin..maybe kat kelantan xnampak sangat but if pegi negeri len nampak la kot..kelantan nampak je macik2 yg jual rokok daun kat kedai miskin..but sebenarnye diorg kaya tau…i knw one story..macam pasal makcik yg keje die tanam padi tau..kirenye a farmer la..dah tua..60s or 70s…cam die ni selalu la org kasi die sedekah kalau bulan puasa n nak raya..pastu ade satu hari ni she was asking one person that she trust…”makcik ni ade RM300000 dalam bank tapi makcik taktau nak bwat ape duit tu..makcik dah pegi haji. Makcik takde anak..suami makcik dh meninggal…jadi ape patut makcik bwat ngan duit ni”…org yg die tanye tu cam OMG!!!!makcik ni kaya gile..kite ni punye la ingatkan die xde duit sekali ade duit n siap xtahu lagi nak bwat ape ngan duit tu..so papepon kirenye don’t judge the book by its cover…ngeh2..cam ade a person that I knw pakai merce tapi kene kejar ngan bank sebab xbayar hutang..so moral of the story is tak semestinya org tu pakai handbag dior, kasut Gucci, dress Versace, pakai Mercedes compressor kaya..diorg maybe nampak kaya tapi diorg sebenarnye sengkek..n xsemestinye org yg pakai kain sarung atas kepala, pakai baju kurung kedah frm kain cotton, pakai kain batik n selipar jepon org yg x berduit..kadang2 diorg lagi berduit dr org2 yg appearance die mmg mantap..org2 yg cam makcik tu sebenarnye diorg xnak membazir beli brg2 yg branded tapi kualiti same je.. (ceh cakap orang)..huhu…ok2..sekian utk hari ni..terima kasih..

P/s : Aini Hayati..I miss u..sila rindu aku jugak..hahahha....

hey i just read a page of personality disorder...and im kinda interested with this type of disorder:-

::Paranoid disorder (Cluster A =Eccentric)
Main features :
1. Aloof or suspicious, solitary
2. Suspicion and distrust of others
3. Bears grudges
4. Self-importance

-Hmm....macam someone i knw...hahahhaa...menarik2...

Anyway i have 2 stories to share...
A. She's weird..
Ok i have a classmate..She is not a malaysian..She is a Canadian if im not mistaken..She rarely speaks to others in my class...She is a mature student. Ok the story happened last thursday when i went to the library in between the lectures to find sumting in the internet...She was in front of me on that time and in front of her is my other Irish classmate...owh sebenarnye saye pon xtahu yang die pelik atau saya yang ketinggalan zaman..hahaha..suke hati je chop die pelik..anyways, die nak masuk library kan..and my irish classmate tu tekan la button so that the librarian tuh buka pintu kan..so the librarian pon bukak la pintu tu..then die cam xnak masuk..then i told her excuse me, r u going to the library as well?and then she said "yes but i have to wait for the door to close again and i have to press the button again. They(the librarians la kot) said that u have to press the button and enter the library person by person..i was like; owh really?r u sure?cuz i never heard about that?..pastu die pon tekan button n xlayan ape aku cakap masuk library..and sebab i think it is stupid la kalau pintu dh bukak xnak masuk, i masuk je la eventho die yg tekan button tu and the librarian takde cakap ape pon?siap senyum lagi?hahaha..so i dont knw la kan..hahaha..papepon die mmg agak pelik sket tapi die sangat pandai la kan..yelah canadian..diorg dh ade degree dh pon..

2. is depression contagious?
this is milah's question this afternoon..i was walking home with Milah and she asked me that question. She said that today she met a depressed patient(i was supposedly be with her taking the history of that man but i didnt go to clinic today due to my peod pain and slothfulness and laziness..)..haha..anyway she met a depressed patient and she was taking his history when that guy said ok thats it for today..then milah told me that after that guy told her to stop she felt depressed..she said that maybe because she unable to take the full history of that man but she said she really depressed...ngeh2..and i felt the same too..i met a few depressed patient last week and i think that contributed to my low mood over the weekend....lalalala...

ok dah cukup ngarut ye..sila paksa diri tdo..hahaha

owh..insomnia..

I think i have insomnia..haha..baru 3 hari susah nak tdo dah self-diagnosed insomnia..haha..dah la sebab coffee intakes..lalala...sape suruh minum coffee kan?esok confirm ngantok gile during lectures...lalala..luckily my ward round will only b started at 930am..so ive extra time to sleep..hehe..what should i do heh?i tried to close my eyes and reminisce my sweet memories already but i still cant sleep..i knw few of my friends havent sleep either but i dont want to bother them cuz i knw they r busy with their job..so layan la insomnia ni sorang2..hahaha..hmm..bosan bosan..

stupid

Whats up with this people???stupid la…opposition party sume ni stupid especially yang melayu pegang..bodoh la diorg ni..idiot..ape lagi…I was ok at first with the perhimpunan bersih tu but now the hindraf..sorry to say mende ni lagi bwat saya bersemangat UMNO. I knw that people behind those hindraf assembly or whateva they called it were malays..they r from the opposition party..they want to show the world that Malaysia is not a peaceful country and how corrupted malaysia gvmnt is..ok maybe there’s some sort of the truth kat situ but still???diorg organize perhimpunan2 camni, riots sume tu will just only show the world how suck Malaysian is..pastu nanti ade la org yang akan take opportunity nak put Malaysia under their influence..nak serang Malaysia konon sebab Malaysia x peaceful etc..macam Iraq la..why did Americans attacked iraq?sebab diorg claimed saddam Hussein is a dictator…etc…bodoh la..if diorg betol la cakap Malaysian gvmnt skang ni yg under barisan nasional ni corrupted diorg lagi la corrupted…xfikir langsung..fikir nak jadi pemimpin kat Malaysia but pemimpin ape camni?pemimpin camni bleh blah la..merosakkan name Malaysia je..selfish..fikir nak menang dlm pilihanraya pastu nak jadi leader kat Malaysia tapi dengan cara yang merugikan..stupid..stupid…orang2 len lak bodoh je ikut serta perhimpunan tu..dah la kaco business, kaco jalanraya, kaco everything and taruk name Malaysia among unsafe countries…STUPID..

Welcome...

Hahaha..im back to blogspot.com..i think it is much nicer than wordpress..wordpress is getting boring and boring for me..lalalalala....anyways this is my blog so Click here if you hate it.
...=)