udah lama tidak berblogging. hahaa. i have so much to say but too lazy to write.=D i think the laziness correlate with my weight. i have been gaining so much weight for the past few years especially after the miscarriage 4 yrs ago and that contribute to my laziness. Denial. hahaa. Any RCT done for this hypothesis?i bet the p value must be less than 0.05 and it is statistically significant. hahaha. Anyway anyway today i want to talk about mom's guilt. sebab sudah lama tidak berblogging i have to re-introduce myself. hahaha. i am a pretty mother to 2 lovely kids..kakak isha is 6 years old and adik nina is 5 years old. they r my very precious kids and i love them sooooooo muchh!!!

i am the typical asian mom but always in denial so i send my kids to brainy bunch. it is a montessori kindergarten. so basically the kids will play around and they will initiate their learning process. Tiada paksaan dalam belajar. And there is no EXAM. NO TEST! its a good thing for the kids u know. kakak isha is a very hardworking little girl so she catch up very quickly. But nina, being the youngest and being the boss of our house kan so not as hardworking as kakak isha. Last month it come to my sense that she is entering 6 years old and she needs to know how to read properly, do math quickly and learn everything very fast like her big sister. So i push her by sending her to kumon and asked her to finish her worksheet very first. At first she did it very quick and we were quite impressed. Tapi me menjadi tamak so push her harder. My voice getting stronger by days and i used more punishment instead of rewards. (punishment = face the wall longer. normally less than 1 min je sebab mommy cepat kesian but this time 3-4mins gitu). After that i realized her performance deteriorated. She cannot even differentiate between 14, 40, and 44!!!I was so worried and very anxious. Many things came to my mind. I even perform full neurological examination on her. All the cranial nerves and had her eyes checked. But everything turned out to be normal. 

One day i just let her did her Kumon sheet with her sister and i can see that she can do the worksheet very fast and got every answer correctly. Then something came to my mind!I am the one who suppressed her!!!yes!because ive been so pushy and hard on her, she cannot perform!luckily i realize it earlier!alhamdulillah. Memang menangis semahunya la mommy sebab push her and suppressed her. Now ive been very soft with her and use rewards instead of punishment. Nasib la kedai RM2 tu dekat je so murah je reward.hehehe. She progresses very quickly now and im so proud of her. Kumon sheets tu mmg tak payah suruh and iqra pon dh start concentrate dah. alhamdulillah.