3events that lead to all the frustration and disappointment.
1. Flight tickets
My baby sister is going to pursuit her study in UITM next month-2nd June to be exact. She got herself a place in foundation science UiTM. We r planning to go there for several days and myself and my marissa are going there with plane. We have been planning it for a week. Last week the flight tickets was rm59 excluding taxes but today..huwaaaa..the prices climbed up to rm169 excluding taxes. If only i bought the tickets immediately last week...that price for for Malaysian Airlines. checked for firefly and airasia. Both are also quite expensive as i already saw both was below rm100 last week..haiyoo..but it isnt a big issue actually.
2. Maternity leave
This is the major contributor to all the frustration, disappoinment and sadness. I took 3months off as i think i need to rest more. Was initially plan to take a breastfeeding leave but after staying at home for quite some time i need to go back to work asap. Asked the admin at my hospital but she said that once applied for 3months u cant shortned it to 2months. End of story there. However next month nobody is around. My parents are going to London and Ireland to visit their 2nd grandchild who is still doesnt want to come out from her mother;s tummy as yet; my sister Ijajah has to sit for her final exams and my other sister suraya starts her school on 2nd june. Nobody that i trust is home on that time. My mother in law is a busy headmistress while my aunties have their own life to take care of. I need to start working again on 11th June and who is going to take care of my marissa??????i asked for another 2weeks extension and my specialist said NOO!!!reasonwise?-no MO at that time. My heart crushed. Tears falling from my eyes. What should i do?i did not apply for the unpaid leave which i can easily get if im in the bigger hospital or in the western countries. I have a reason-to exclusively breastfeed my daughter. Maybe i should apply it earlier..back to the question-Who is going to take care of my daughter???Should i bring Marissa to my specialist then?my dad give me that idea. He said that my specialist should take care of her while im working as he is the one who doesnt want me to take my day off. Or should i bring marissa and one my mom's bibik to the hospital?put them in our oncall room which is pretty small for a baby and bibiks?Should I take a day off alternate it with my husband?Should i just ignore it and take a leave as if the hospital is mine?Should i absconded?Should i go see any psychiatry and diagnosed myself as having postpartum depression and need longer off from my work?Should i just resign and open my own clinic? What should i do?
My husband is currently doing a caesarian section on a patient with 2 previous scar. I dont want to disturb him. I dont want him to lose his attention on that patient which may end up with multiple complications.
What should i do at this moment?Of course i called my mom, talked to my dad, discussed it with my bestfriend and even cried to my mother in law. What else should i do?
3.cutting marissa's fingernails
Marissa's nails grow very fast. I never cut/trim marissa's fingernails before but today i just think i have to. I need to. I cut her fingernails extra careful. feels like my eyes popping out just to focus at marissa's nail. they re so tiny. However....however...=((
Marissa was sleeping on that time so less movement and less probability of injuries. However while i was cutting the last 3 fingernails, she was moving her fingers and zapp terkena her skin.. kesian diee..of course la she cried and bled a bit from that area. What a terrible mother i am. I am sooo not going to cut her fingernails again. NEVER!lessons learnt!
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