Tuesday, April 3, 2012
d21 n post partum blues
daddy is oncall again today..smlm the whole night icha tdo dengan tok umi n tokwan..tok umi bawak stok mommy pump masuk dlm blk tok umi..so mommy after bgn antar daddy g keje amik icha so thattok umi ble tdo lak..hehe..tukar shift..and as usual even if icha tdo pon mommy xkn tdo if nobody around..bibik pon mommy xpecaye..ngeee..
nyway nyone ever heard post partum blues/depression/meroyan?since delivery sy terperasan yg senang sangat stress n sedih and fed up and rs nk give up...for the first few days i was stressed out napela kene episiotomy..ive practiced pushing and everything was ok initially..my husband la keep on comforting me..icha was born with cord round neck tight so it was quite impossible for me to deliver her without any tear..tambah2 primigravida aka first baby..my husband cakap it was better than me having 3rd or 4th degree tear..i was ok when my cousin told me that she had episiotomy as well even her child was only 1.9kg..but still i kept the blame on me xcukup push..haishh..
then,i had gastritis..never had d similar pain b4.worst than d attack that i had when i was form 3 which required admission..i put d blame on myself as well..nape la makan lambat bla bla bla..
followed by susu x banyak..was so stressed out sebab i always n always want my child to have exclusive bf..then my husband ckp its ok..sume first time mothercamtu..maybe ade yg lucky b4 lahir lg susu dh bnyk tpi myself dh kire ok..at least baby still ble tolerate ngan susu bnyk tu..ade few friends of mine had to mix with formula sebab xckup..kire mine was ok..i was still depressed sampai la bwstfriend of mine dtg ckp die awal2 pon campur sampai la day brape tah br fully bf..
then constipation..i was in emergency department b4..i saw lotsa cases whereby post partum mother came to ed for abd pain n constipation...mmg ramai yg dpt constipation ni lepas bersalin..i knw that but putting myself on that place OMG!baru faham perasaan diorg..sebab diet kite org melayu ni kalau pantang xde fibre sangat(maybe my diet je kot)..then sebab kite still takut wound kite akan infected ke,breakdown ke,sakit ke..tu yg menyebabkan lagi susah nak buang kan..i was quite ok when fikir i had a pt which ravin enema pon not helping her much..myself lepas ravin ok
then few days ago i had engorged breast..seb baek x demam..ramai org cakap ade org sampai demam..tp still it was quite sore..b4 that i had urti-non stop sneeze n runny nose..
then last night i had a kind of breakdown..crying on my hubby's shoulder-why?why my labour was so lama?why i had to endure this and that?why and why?my husband cakap piost partum ni kite xsolat bdn lemah n xcukup tdo n adjusting ourselves to new environment jadi senang sgt syaitan nak goda kita..husband cakap org lain lagi teruk..ni kire ok ni at least labour xcomplicated ngan bleeding ke fetal distress ke etcetera..at least yg kene perut sakit aritugastrik bukan mende lain..at least breast engorged tu x demam n bukan bilateral..bnyk mende patutnye kene bersyukur..Allah nak uji sikit..sakit tu penghapus dosa..
lepas dgr those soothing words baru lega..baru boleh set my mind free..ape yg penting actually even xle solat pon kite bole zikir n doa.bole dgr al-Quran..then kene fikir posiive..kalau fikit negative mcm nape la susu aku ni sikit,mmgsusupon jadi sikitla kan?so think positively..a friend of mine cakap satu lg yg penting niat..if ko niat nak susukan anak ko 2 yrs insyaAllah susu ko akan bnyk..
so jom kawan2..think positively and ingat Allah selalu..